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‘Big up the dads that do’

While almost any man can father a child, there is so much more to the important role of being a dad in a child’s life. Let’s look at who the father is, and why he is so important. Fathers are central to the emotional well-being of their children; they are capable caretakers and disciplinarians. Studies show that if a child’s father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to your child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner core resource, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity.

Big up the dads that do’

How fathers influence our relationships

A child’s primary relationship with his/her father can affect all of their ongoing relationships from birth to death, including those with friends, lovers, and spouses. Those early patterns of interaction with a father are the very patterns that will be projected forward into all relationships…forever more: not only your child’s intrinsic idea of who he/she is as he/she relates to others but also, the range of what your child considers acceptable and loving.

Girls will look for men who hold the patterns of good old dad, for, after all, they know how “to do that.” Therefore, if the father was kind, loving, and gentle, they will reach for those characteristics in men. Growing up girls will look for, in others, what they have experienced and become familiar with in childhood, because they’ve gotten used to those familial and historical behavioural patterns, they think that they can handle them in relationships. Boys, on the other hand, will model themselves after their fathers. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do, and copy those behaviors that they recognise as both successful and familiar.

Thus, if dad was abusive, controlling, and dominating, those will be the patterns that their sons will imitate and emulate. However, if the father is loving, kind, supportive, and protective, boys will want to be that. Human beings are social animals and we learn by modelling behaviour. In fact, all primates learn how to survive and function successfully in the world through social imitation.

So, in saying that I say this ‘BIG UP THE DADS THAT DO.’

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